


Sometimes, You're Not Alone

by Parakeet12



Series: Luzriel Oneshots [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Az and Lucien being adorable, Fluff, Luzriel, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Nightmares, Oneshot, Past Abuse, Really danm fluffy, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 10:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14767734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parakeet12/pseuds/Parakeet12
Summary: Azriel and Lucien both have past experiences that haunt them - and they seem to be worse during the night. This is how, one night, they help each other through the memories. Oneshot, Luzriel relationship. Would probably take place between ACOWAR and ACOFAS. Disclaimer : All characters belong to Sarah J Maas. I’m just briefly borrowing them.





	Sometimes, You're Not Alone

Nightmares weren’t a stranger to either Azriel or Lucien. In fact, one of them was woken up about once a night, if not more. Sometimes, on rare occasions, they would both make it through the night. But when they did have nightmares, they were intense. Lucien would sit straight up in his bed, face white as a sheet, a coat of cold sweat covering his body, hands clutching the sheets. If it was particularly bad, he would run to the bathroom, and the contents of dinner would end up in the toilet. 

Azriel was different. When he had a nightmare, he would start twitching, before he would sit straight up. His eyes would be blown wide with terror, and he would contract his wings out and then fold them back up repeatedly. If it was particularly bad, he wouldn’t go to bed, he would just go onto his balcony and watch the world around him. It was many a night Lucien had found him out here, gazing up at the stars or down at the streets. 

The first time Azriel had one of his bad nightmares, it had been after a late night out. They had been wandering the streets of Velaris together, only returning to Az’s apartment late in the night. It had been closer than Lucien’s own, and they were both tired. It had been awkward, Lucien offering to sleep on his couch before Azriel had murmured “Or - or you could sleep in the bed with me; I wouldn’t mind, as long as it’s ok with you.” 

Lucien had wiggled his eyebrows. “Is it a regular offer, or that kind of offer?” 

Azriel had blushed high in his face, stammering out, “No-no, not tonight, though I’m not opposed, I just - sleeping -” 

Lucien took pity on him, and feeling brave, kissed him on the cheek as he answered. “I’d like that. And don’t worry - I hadn’t planned or the night to go in that direction either.” 

Azriel had only blushed harder as he showed Lucien to his room. They had both gotten ready for bed, Azriel rummaging around in his dresser to find clothes for both of them. How is it possible for a someone to have that many fighting leathers? Lucien wondered as he peaked around Az to look in the drawer. What about other clothes? Did Azriel literally not own any? It was too bad, he mused. Az would look devastatingly handsome in a dark blue tunic. 

Normally, Lucien slept without a shirt, but he was thankful as he accepted the sleeping clothes that Azriel gave him. He had scars on his back he would rather not explain, although he knew he would have to soon if he and Az kept doing whatever this thing was between them. Going into the bathroom to change, he pulled on the clothes, that, judging by the size, they were Azriel’s own, as he had to pull the pants as tight as they would go to get them to stay around his waist and the shirt came down to his mid-thigh. He pulled his hair back, the small braids he had woven in earlier joining the rest of his hair he had left down earlier that night. He continued the rest of his night routine before coming back into the bedroom. Az was there, and said, “Please make yourself comfortable; I need to use the bathroom, I’ll be right out.” 

He did, sitting down in a chair facing the balcony off of the room, and examined the room itself. It was pleasant, a light blueish color that must look great in morning light. There was a small bookshelf in one corner, a few paintings on the wall, as well as a weapons rack and trunk. Lucien smiled. There was also a nightstand next to the large bed, and the dresser, and a desk, all of which looked incredibly organized. As a person himself who just threw stuff on the ground and only remembered to pick it up again half the time, he wondered how Azriel did it. 

Az reappeared, and gestured towards the bed, while pulling back the sheets. Azriel was in clothes that were, as he suspected, identical to Lucien’s own. As he stood up, Az’s face went funny. His mouth scrunched up, and he turned away slightly. 

“What?” Lucien demanded. 

Azriel broke out laughing. His laugh was deep, and he was grinning as he said, “Lucien,” he broke off laughing before he composed himself and tried again. “Luce, darling, those clothes look ridiculous.” 

Lucien looked down at himself, and started laughing as well. His sleeves were well past his hands, the shirt was way to large and hing off of his frame, and the ants were to long. “Hey! I will have you know I am muscular, but kinda wiry.” He said, laughing as well as he playfully slapped Az’s chest as he took the invitation and took the side of the bed opposite of the nightstand. 

Azriel kept grinning. “Don’t worry. It’s cute.” He said as he climbed into the bed himself. He leaned over and kissed Lucien’s forehead. It was his turn to blush now.  
“Goodnight.” Azriel said, and moved over to turn off the light. 

“Goodnight,” Lucien echoed. Az’s bed was big enough he could barely feel him, even though he was well aware there was another person in the bed. “You know, you could -” He swallowed. “You could stay over here if you wanted.” 

For a horrible second, there was no answer. But then he felt Azriel shift, and he felt Azriel’s chest on his back, and his arm come around his waist. “Like this?” He asked.  
“Yeah. That’s good. Thank you.” Lucien murmured back. 

He felt Azriel shifting again. His voice was very quiet and even a little wobbly when he spoke again. “Would this be ok?” He felt Az keep moving, bringing his head directly on top of Lucien’s, and shifting his wing so that Lucien was curled under it. His wing was warm, and frankly, Lucien had almost never felt more cherished. This thing between him and Az was new, but he was sure as hell it was strong. He doubted Iryllian warriors put their wings in potential harm like this for just anybody. And he felt as strongly towards the warrior as he only had about one other person. 

“It’s perfect.” He was nervous about the word, but he felt Az smile into his hair, and it was all ok. 

He fell asleep warm, and feeling better than he had in a long, long time. 

He was jolted from sleep however, when he felt Azriel’s wing suddenly lift off of him, dragging the sheet with him, leaving Lucien cold, and alone in the bed. He opened his eyes, blinking, and sat up while yawning, to find Azriel breathing heavily and pacing around the room. 

Az looked up and meet Lucien’s eyes, and said hurriedly, “Go back to sleep. It’s ok.” 

“Az,” Lucien said, “You don’t look ok.” From the little he could see in the moonlight Azriel’s hands were shaking, and his golden skin looked clammy. The pacing wasn’t looking good either. 

“I’m ok.” He said. 

“Was it a nightmare?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No.” Az said, and moved out onto the balcony. 

Lucien observed him for a moment. Az’s head was down, he wasn’t even looking at anything besides his own shaking hands. 

He had never been good at keeping his nose out of other’s business anyway. 

He followed Az nto the balcony, and stood beside him, and when he didn’t object, he slowly put one of his own hands onto Azriel’s clasped ones. When he didn't move away, he brought the other one over too, and turned his whole body to face Az’s. 

“You know,” Lucien started softly, “I get them too. The nightmares. They happen pretty frequently. I get you don’t want to talk, believe me, I understand that. But maybe, you’d want to listen?” Lucien looked expectantly at him. Az nodded slowly, as his wings dropped down, and were dragging on the floor. 

“I get them a lot - about a multitude of circumstances. One of the most frequent is about what happened to Jesminda. Sometimes, it’s my eye,” He gestured to the golden eye, whining in its socket, “Or even the scar.” He brought one of his own hands up, and softly traced it. “ A lot of what happened under the mountain. There’s some others too, but the worst is always in the beginning. When I was growing up in autumn, my brothers were...they were cruel.” He paused, gathering his strength. “I often dream of what they did to me. I often dream of what they did to me, only it’s my loved ones going through the torture.” 

He took a deep, shaky breath. “I’m sorry I can’t offer more details now, I just - I just -” 

“No,” Az finally spoke. In fact, he turned towards Lucien, and pulled him in, enveloping him in a tight hug, wings coming around him, and buried his own face in Lucien’s shoulder. “Thank you. It helped - helps to know someone else knows. Thank you.” He repeated, face still buried in Lucien's shoulder. Lucien’s arms come around him, and they stayed there. He didn’t know how long they stood like that, holding each other like if they didn't let go the memories couldn’t haunt them. 

It was a little bit, then Azriel spoke too. “My brothers, as well, growing up, were - well, they tortured me.” He stated bluntly. Lucien flinched a little, and pulled Az even closer with his arms. “I get nightmares about it.” He finished. Lucien spoke soft words of condolence, “It’s ok, sweetheart, it’s ok,” as he rubbed circles onto Azriel’s back. 

After awhile, Az finally pulled back, his wings unfurling from around them. “Thank you - I needed that. All of it. Thank you.” 

“The memories, all of it, haunts me to. But maybe, maybe together we can work through it. Maybe we can help each other.” Lucien answered. 

Az smiled. It was a small, tentative smile on the corner of his mouth. “You make me believe, Luce, that maybe we can.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Now for just a little self promoting - I have character boards for both Az and Lucien on my Pinterest, WaterWolf, and have some stuff on Tumblr, which is waterandfirewolf. I love these characters, and am always happy to talk about them or this ship! Feel free to do through Tumblr, or comment! Comments and Kudos mean the world. Have a great day!


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